Some people read the NY Times for the Society pages, crossword or business sections. That’s all fine and good, but for me, it’s all about the Real Estate pages. I’ll never live in New York and I’ve only visited once, but since before the Internet, I have always loved reading the Times’ Real Estate section. Now, with the modern marvel known as a Search Engine, I can actually have immediate gratification of my primary desires — Specifically, Pre-War Apartments.

High ceilings, box beams, fireplaces, bay windows, wood floors, servants quarters. When I first saw Rosemary’s Baby, I couldn’t have cared less about Satan’s Spawn, my eyes were riveted on the interior and exterior shots of The Dakota Apartments.  I didn’t even know what it was at the time, I was too young, but I knew it was important in some way.

The NY Times is good to me, in addition to the extensive photos of available properties, they often include floor plans so that I may take fantasy walks through my pretend apartment. Conversely, there are few things more satisfying than sitting in your modest home drinking coffee while summarily disregarding $5-15,000,000 properties because some Nouveau Riche Twit decided to tear out all the original features and mirror the ceilings. If that’s what you want, go living in the frickin’ Trump Tower and leave my Pre-War alone.